Ginger Chronicles Part 1

Dear Readers,

I know this is my wife's blog about our family, but I would like to take a minute or two of your time to get something that has been weighing heavily on my chest for a while now. I would like to make this a weekly post to update you on my findings...

Part 1:

A prototype of Apple Inc's next-generation iPhone has dominated the chatter in Silicon Valley over the past few days and the company has moved to recover the device after is was apparently 'lost in a bar'.

As many of you are quite aware, this was no accident. In fact, if it weren't for an intergalacular crash many years ago, this corrupt corporate giant would have never been able to 'lose' its next popular cult gadget and splash photos of it all over the blogoshpere.

Let me explain this to those of you who are unaware of how Steve Jobs and other corrupt business leaders have their fortunes over the past decades. Sometime in the last 40 years, the U.S. Government, along with other shady corporate giants have been 'Reverse Gingerneering' all of our latest technology for profit. How have they been dong so? In a simple one word answer... Aliens.

In 1989, a 'physicist' named Bob Lazar claimed that he had worked at a base south of Area 51. He also claimed that Area 51 was testing extremely advanced aircraft and UFO's they got by trading with aliens. Not only have they been trading aircrafts secrets, the U.S. Government has also been harvesting other technology from our friends from another planet. Bob and I have been close pen pals for the past 10 years of my life and I am now a true believer.

I have confirmed that the following list has all been created with the help of Reverse Gingerneering:

Easy Bake Oven

Pet Rock

Chia-Pets

Pez

Snuggies (only the original, the U.S. can have credit for the more fashionable 'designer' Snuggie)

And of course... the iPod, iPhone and latest iPad (also the soon to be iGoggles for 3D movies)

You can all say that this is crazy talk, but I have actually witnessed an Alien spacecraft fall out of orbit in Helena, AL after a crazy party at my friends house which included a lot of beer. But don't let that fool you... I KNOW it was a UFO! Beer had nothing to do with what I saw! Details will be later revealed in my later chronicles. To be continued...

-Richard 'Burgundy' Tomasello