Mom, can you turn me into a worm?!?!

Mom, can you turn me into a worm please? They are so cute! They eat and drink mud everyday... and that is healthy. Trust me, I know what healthy is! Plus you get to eat food that other people leave on the ground AND IT HAS YUMMY DIRT ON IT! Sometimes you get to make your home in a cute apple. If you turn me into a worm I wouldn't have to wear clothes like pants or stinky underwear... I could be naked which is my favorite thing to do!
Mom, please turn me into a worm. I could wiggle around all over the ground. I wouldn't have to walk because I wouldn't have any legs! I could just wiggle everywhere I went. Don't worry about me being slow. I would be a fast worm wiggling faster than any other!
Mom, please turn me into a worm. I would love to scare all the little girls that saw me. When they scream I will laugh really hard! Since I would be a fast worm, when the girls saw me I would chase them as fast as I could -well as fast as one could go without any legs!
Well, I would have to live outside. And it does get dark... really dark at night. Plus you, Dad and Ava would be inside sound asleep... WITHOUT ME! I bet a boogie man might come and get me. Okay, maybe I will stay a Collin and not be a worm... just yet!